I vote to clone Sue Johanson

There was an article in the Globe and Mail a couple of weeks ago that questioned the necessity of high school sexual education classes, positing that the rise of online resources, such as Sex Etc. (sexetc.org) and sexualityandu.ca, provide ample information for those seeking to be enlightened. Just the thought of having to discuss this point makes my hands automatically form into little fists of rage. But now that I’ve managed to uncurl my fingers, I’m sitting down at the computer and writing down what I think about how we should be teaching and learning about sex.

I went to a Catholic, all-girls high school. We didn’t have sex ed classes: we had “health” classes that were lumped into our phys ed classes. Given my cloistered teenage years, I’m not really sure what the rest of the kids in the more progressive public school system were learning about sex, but, in the little nunnery that my parents forced me to go to, I learned very little. I do recall watching a video called “The Miracle of Life” in which we learned about how a baby is conceived and then watched it be born into the world. Keeping true to the subject of health, we also learned about all the symptoms of various STIs and had to memorize those for the exam later on. Too bad we were never told how to try and prevent ourselves from getting those STIs. Of course, there was no mention made of condoms, gloves or dental dams; there were no queers in the picture; and there was never any discussion of where one might get a safe abortion (because good, Catholic teenage girls aren’t supposed to be getting pregnant anyway). Classes were kind of like, “Here are the symptoms for a whole bunch of STIs, okay, girls? Now let’s go and play field hockey.”

And what can be worse than this watered down version of sex ed? Well, how about no sex ed? Yup, the province of Quebec has decided to eliminate sex ed classes altogether, working in favour of incorporating sexual education into all classes. Okay, so not to be a doubting Thomas or anything, but do they really think this is a viable way of disseminating sexual information? Other than the fact that sex ed should be taught by qualified, knowledgeable instructors, I also just can’t imagine how the subject will regularly be incorporated into other classes. “Hey, kids, have you ever noticed how a test tube sort of looks like a condom?” or, “Did anyone know that Lady Macbeth enjoyed fisting?”

Some will argue that sex ed classes aren’t all that useful to teenagers because teens are often too shy and embarrassed to ask the questions they want answered. They’d rather go to a website and get the answers they’re looking for. Sure, this is partly true. The 13-year-old boy who wants to learn about female orgasms probably isn’t going to ask the teacher while sitting amongst his friends. But does this lead us to forfeiting sexual education altogether? Not the way I see it.

Wouldn’t it be better if we had properly trained educators who facilitated sex ed classes for teens? Wouldn’t it be great if we could clone Sue Johanson and send her to every high school across the country, giving kids the lowdown on what to do down below? (By the way, and I’m totally digressing here, I have to say that I think Sue Johanson deserves to be canonized. She is the definition of amazing.) Not talking about sex doesn’t make things better. In fact, part of the reason a lot of people don’t want to talk about sex is because we never learned how to talk about it in the first place. And you’re not going to figure out how to negotiate with your sexual partner by merely looking up stuff on a website.

Don’t get me wrong: sexetc.org and sexualityandu.ca are great sites where teenagers and adults can learn a heck of a lot about sex. But I really do hope that the rest of Canada doesn’t follow Quebec’s lead and start eliminating sex ed classes or, worse yet, adopt the U.S. abstinence-only model. It’s just so important to have an arena to talk about all the fun things we can do with our bodies. And, compared with boring old chemistry or history classes, wouldn’t kids rather be in sex ed class talking about getting hot and heavy? If I were still in high school, I sure would.